Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
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I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
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I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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