How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize