I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize