its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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