With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
