So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
