She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
