At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
