And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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