you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
