I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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