protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
