Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
