What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
