Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
