as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
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I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
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How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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