I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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