I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
