You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
