yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
