Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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