There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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