i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
my being single is dangerous.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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