Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
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Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
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I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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