For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
