there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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