addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She said her name was "party"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
