About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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