how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
