What a fucking waste of an outfit
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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