Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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