Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
