is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Can Purell be used as lube?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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