You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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