peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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