Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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