Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
