Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
