Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
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he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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