I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
