We named our party play list daddy issues
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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