Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
