I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
