if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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