I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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