Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
love makes seman taste better
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
