I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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