More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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