i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
