you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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