we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
