i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize