i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
