Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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