Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just found a bag of teeth...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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